


Where the Green Grass Grows

by elemie89



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background GingerFlower, Eventual Smut, F/M, Mentions of past abuse, Ranch Hand Rey, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Dancing, Slow Everything, Vaginal Fingering, asshole surgeon Ben Solo, background stormpilot, who says you can't go home again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2020-07-19 07:22:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19970185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elemie89/pseuds/elemie89
Summary: After Ben Solo's father suffers a heart attack, he returns to Skywalker Ranch where he finds his old high school crush, Rey, is the new ranch hand.





	1. Where the Green Grass Grows

**Author's Note:**

  * For [commandercrouton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandercrouton/gifts).



> Hey y'all back at it again with another fresh hot fic coming at you. This prompt comes courtesy of my wonderful amazing friend,[commandercrouton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/commandercrouton/pseuds/commandercrouton): Ben comes back from the city to help his parents run their ranch, only to find Rey as the new ranch hand. Let him find his country roots again with plaid shirts, cowboy boots and hats. Rey is a badass barrel racer on the side.
> 
> Love you M, hope this is everything you wanted! 
> 
> Many thanks to [Sage McMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae) and [TazWren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazWren/pseuds/TazWren) for the beta read!

_Well I'm from_   
_A map dot_   
_A stop sign on a blacktop_   
_I caught the first bus, I could hop from there_   
_But all o' this glitter is gettin' dark_   
_There's concrete glowin' in the city park_   
_I don't know who my neighbors are_   
_And there's bars on the corner and bars on my heart_

_\- " **Where the Green Grass Grows", Tim McGraw**_

The call comes in a little past midnight. He groans and rolls over in his bed. He sends up a silent prayer that he doesn’t see the number for the hospital. He also prays that it’s not a nurse from the CVICU paging him because Mr. Rosen has been admitted for the third time this month and Mrs. Rosen is raising hell, asking to see Dr. Ben Solo immediately.

It’s a Friday night. The sixteen-hour days that he’s worked all week have finally caught up with him -- all the hours in the operating room have taken their toll. He’s in that blissful place between wakefulness and dreams when his ringtone ruins it all. 

He looks at the screen, its a 210 number. It’s his mother. He’s about to send it to voicemail when he remembers that she never calls him. Period. Something must be wrong. He sighs, runs his hands through his hair, steels himself, and answers the call. 

“Hello?” 

“Hi, Ben. It’s your mother.” 

“What’s wrong?” he asks. He’s exhausted and wants her to get to the point. 

“Why does something have to be wrong for me to call you?” she says, taken aback. 

“It’s after midnight and the last time you called me was six months ago for my birthday,” Ben replies, rubbing his face. 

His mother sighs. “It’s your father…” 

The way her voice trails off makes him sit straight up in bed. He’s awake now. 

A million thoughts begin whirling through Ben’s head. When was the last time he'd spoken with his dad? He thinks it was on his birthday, the same as with his mother. What were the last words they'd said to each other? For the life of him, Ben can’t remember, but it was probably a terse exchange of “Happy Birthday” and “thanks” before Ben’s mom took the phone back. 

Words escape him in the moment. 

“Is he ok?” is all he manages. He immediately chides himself for what a _stupid_ question it is, but it's the first thing he blurted out. 

He hears a sigh from the other end. “He’s okay. We’re still in the ER. The damn fool was cleaning the gutters on the guest house. He didn’t wait for either me or one of the ranch hands to hold the ladder and, when his chest started hurting, he lost his footing and fell off.” 

Ben snorts. _Typical._ “So he’s awake?” 

“And giving the nurses hell. They’re trying to figure out if his arm is broken too. I think they gave him extra pain meds just to make him shut up.” 

Ben pauses for a moment while deciding what to say next. His mother speaks before he can. 

“They’re taking him for an angiogram in the morning. The doctors say he might need open heart surgery.” 

_Open heart surgery._ Those three words, strung together, set something off in Ben. “I’m flying out first thing tomorrow.” 

He doesn’t know what possessed him to say those words. He hasn’t been back to East Bumblefuck, Texas in at least ten years. He’d left for college, vowing to never return. 

His relationship with his father is… complicated, to say the least. It was always expected of Ben that he’d stay to run Skywalker Ranch, the family cattle business. 

His grandfather, Anakin, started it in the 1950s and it quickly became one of the more profitable ranches in the state. His mom and Uncle Luke took it over after Grammie Padmé passed away in the 80s. Leia claimed sole ownership in the late '90s, after her brother decided to go crazy and join a commune out in California, or some shit like that. 

Ben knew, growing up on the ranch, that one day he’d be expected to take the reins. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the work - he didn’t mind it at all. When he was younger, he'd thrown himself into his chores around the house with abandon. That wasn’t what made him leave. Not even a little bit. 

What made him leave was the fact that he was a Skywalker. Everyone knew his family’s business in their small town. He was never just Ben Solo, he could never just be Ben Solo. Even the simple act of going to the only supermarket in town was a reminder of this. 

It was never, “How are ya, Ben?”, it was always, “Ain’t old man Ani your grandaddy?”. 

After high school, he'd been resolute that he’d leave for college and never return to that godforsaken town. Yet, here he is, padding into his penthouse office, firing up his laptop, and searching for the next flight back. 

“Oh, Ben,” his mother begins, in that tone of hers. He assumes she thinks he isn't sincere. She’s about to lay the guilt on thick. “You don’t have to.” 

“No, no, I’m coming. I’m on the airline website right now.” 

“Are you sure?” 

Ben rolls his eyes. “Yes, mother. I’m coming.” 

“Okay, son,” she pauses and he hears her talking to someone on the other end. “They’re moving him to his room now. I’ll talk to you later.” 

They say their goodbyes and hang up. Ben manages to find a flight that’s leaving at nine am. The clock on his laptop tells him it’s almost one am. He grabs his phone and heads back into the bedroom. 

He groans at the fact he’s only getting a few hours sleep. The call this evening was a surprise, but Ben muses that he can’t be _totally_ shocked. His parents are getting older. It comes with the territory. 

He's awake again at five. He’s so groggy and sleepy that forcing himself up at this ungodly hour is a chore. He throws some clothes and toiletries in a duffel bag. His father should only be in the hospital for a week. Ben figures he can return to New York once Han is set up and recuperating at home. 

He emails his bastard of a department chair, Buford Snoke, and his business partner, Armitage Hux, that he’ll be out of town for about a week. 

_It’s just a week,_ he tells himself as he boards the plane. _Just a week._

Ben avails himself of the complimentary first-class whiskey. Somewhere over Pennsylvania, he falls asleep and doesn’t wake up until the flight attendant announces that they’re about to begin their final descent into San Antonio. 

As soon as he deplanes, he makes quick work of getting his rental car and getting to the hospital. The place is a maze and Ben gets lost trying to find the ICU. He finally locates the unit, stopping at the nurses station. 

“Excuse me. Can you tell me what room…” he begins to ask the nurses at the desk. His voice trails off when he hears a familiar voice bellowing down the hall. 

“Goddamnit! This ain’t real food!” 

“Never mind,” Ben says with an apologetic smile, “found him.” 

His father is still grousing about the food and his mother is telling him to keep his voice down as Ben enters the room. 

“You do know people are trying to heal in here?” he asks from the doorway. 

“Well, they can’t do that with this piss-poor excuse for food they’re being served!” his father counters. 

“I’d ask you how you’re doing, but based on the fact you’re bitching about the food, I’d say you’re doing okay.” 

“These quacks in here, I tell ya, son. Tellin’ me I’m pre-diabetic, with high blood pressure, high cholesterol. I feel fine!” 

It’s at this point Ben notices Han’s left arm is in a sling and covered by a cast. He’s waving his good arm as he continues his dissertation on why this whole thing is a scam. 

“Kinda what happens when you don’t visit the doctor for about twenty years,” Ben interjects during a natural stopping point in his father’s monologue. 

Han wags a fork at him. “Don’t you start with me too!” 

Leia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Will you just shut up and listen to someone who _might_ know more than you? Your son is a _surgeon,_ for crying out loud!” 

Ben sighs. This is going to be a long week. 

Ben turns around when he hears a knock on the door. A middle-aged man in green scrubs and a white coat, standing a little shorter than him — not an impossible feat since Ben stands at six foot two — with greying hair and a five o’clock shadow, enters the room. He’s flanked by two younger men, also in white coats and green scrubs, with smug expressions on their faces. Suddenly, Ben knows the purpose of this visit. 

“Good afternoon, I’m Dr. Erso. I’m one of the cardio-thoracic surgeons here. How are you feeling today, Mr. Solo?” he asks, striding over to bed and offering Han a handshake. 

Ben can’t hear his father’s response. The world is suddenly all blurry and in slow motion. He knows why Dr. Erso is here. It’s why he’d enter the room with his group of cocky residents. His dad needs open heart surgery. 

Ben can’t make sense of this panic — which he hasn’t felt in a _very_ long time — that’s engulfed his body. He’s been on the opposite end of this _so_ many times before. He knows everything will be fine. This particular hospital has a good reputation. Dr. Erso has even published research in their shared field. 

Another sensation is regret. He almost _regrets_ the fights. He almost regrets the harsh words exchanged. This is strange because he’s never felt any sort of remorse during the course of their relationship. Also, it’s not like this is life and death. It’s merely a procedure. Ben can do with his eyes closed. 

“Ask my son if he has any questions. He’s the surgeon.” 

This rapidly snaps Ben out of his thoughts. Normally, he’s quick to inform people that he is indeed _the_ Dr. Ben Solo, with the best outcomes in the country, who trained under _the_ Dr. Buford Snoke who pioneered robotic technology. However, right now, he’s rendered mute. For the first time in his career, he doesn’t want his reputation to come up. 

What is happening to him? First, trying to recall when he last spoke with his dad, now being frozen in the presence of a fellow surgeon? Ben decides to tuck all this away and unpack it later. Preferably when he’s far away from the people causing these unwanted feelings. 

He turns to Dr. Erso and shakes his head. He doesn’t have any questions. None that Dr. Erso can answer, at least. One of Dr. Erso’s residents promises to come back with a consent form for the surgery. 

When he returns, the resident’s cocky demeanor fades as Han uses Ben’s first name and asks him to grab his glasses for him. Ben swears he can see the blood drain from the resident’s face. It takes everything in Ben’s power not to smirk. He’s used to this. He thrives off the fear from his residents. It’s a technique he learned from Dr. Snoke. Fear keeps them on their toes. Fear keeps them from making mistakes. At least, that’s what Dr. Snoke taught him. 

The resident recognizes him and begins rambling about a talk Ben gave at a symposium in St. Louis last year. 

_Life changing_ , he calls it. 

“Thanks.” Ben nods. 

“Hello?” Han says in an annoyed tone, “Guy getting his chest cut open tomorrow here? Y’all can gawk at my genius son later.” 

Ben scoffs at his father’s joke. For all his flaws, Han's always been proud of his son, but never terribly impressed by all the accolades Ben’s acquired in his short career. For some reason, Ben’s never minded it. _Never change, old man._

He sleeps fitfully that night in his hotel room. He doesn’t know why. He shouldn’t be worried. His father is in good hands. Everything will be _fine_ . Just _fine._

The next day he kills time in downtown Houston as he finds no need to pace around in his father’s room while waiting for the surgery to be done. Ben finds a coffee shop, browses a bookstore -- anything to take his mind off what’s happening in the hospital. Emotions will get him nowhere. 

When he finally thinks he has a handle on things, a text from his mother makes him jump out of his skin. It simply says Han’s back in his room and all went well. What is happening to him? 

He arrives in Han’s room about twenty minutes later to find him sleeping. Ben takes a brief look at the monitor. Han’s vital signs are stable. Good. This is good. He thinks the stupid anxiety that’s put him on edge is about to disappear. That is until a lilting female voice with a Texas accent, coming from behind him, kills any chance of that. 

“Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.”

  



	2. Whiskey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! Sorry it took me such a long time to get this chapter out *hangs head in shame*, but I hope you enjoy this update. Just a note, I forgot to include chapter titles/ song lyrics for the first chapter, I'm going back and editing that and adding them on from this chapter on. 
> 
> Enjoy!

_Warm my body to the core just like a blanket_   
_It tasted so sweet then you took my breath away_   
_Hit me so hard like a rock through a window_   
_I knew I was in trouble from the moment I met you, boy_

_Shoulda just called it like I saw it_   
_Shoulda just called for help and ran like hell that day_   
_The burn and the sting and the high and the heat_   
_And the left me one more feeling when he kissed me_   
_I shoulda just called him whiskey_

_- **"Whiskey", Jana Kramer**_

She almost drops her terrible hospital coffee. No, it’s impossible. Her eyes are deceiving her. She blinks. Nope, it’s most definitely him. He’s maybe an inch taller and more muscular— _ so much more muscular— _ but it’s him. Ben Solo. The man Rey Niima hasn’t seen in over fifteen years. 

She never expected to see him again. He’d made it clear, when he left to pursue his medical career, that he was never coming back. As if he was too good for their small town. Somewhere in the back of her eighteen year-old mind, Rey'd known that that was true. He had greatness inside him. Ben possessed a potential that would never be unleashed in a ranching town with a population of 1,500, where the nearest grocery store was forty-five minutes away. 

What is he doing in a hospital room in San Antonio, though? It  _ is  _ his  _ father _ lying in the bed, but Ben isn’t the type (at least not anymore) to drop everything and stand by Han’s side. They've never had that type of relationship. Does he know something Rey doesn’t? She decides to parse that out later.

Her heart is thumping as she thinks of the right thing to say. Why is she so nervous? She’s trained horses to barrel race and stayed on a bull for two point seven seconds, this should be nothing. Ben is nothing. Just the man who’d left her fifteen years ago.

She sucks in a breath and says the first thing that pops in her mind. “Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in.” 

Did Ben actually flinch when she spoke? Rey has to stifle a giggle. He did flinch. Dr. Ben Solo who is recognized as an even-keeled surgeon flinched as she, a humble ranch-hand/ barrel racer, spoke. Will wonders never cease? 

He turns slowly to face her. Somehow she finds herself sending up a silent prayer that the years haven’t been kind to him, that somehow time and stress have weathered him and made him less attractive. Rey doesn’t really think that’s possible, but she still holds out hope. 

When they’re finally facing each other, that hope flies out the window. Yep, still as attractive as ever, with his stupid perfectly chiseled face, stupid perfect hair, and stupid smirk that did…  _ does _ things to her. 

“Rey,” he regards her with a nod. “Long time no see.” 

She scoffs. “Well, that’s an understatement.” 

“How long has it been?” he inquires. 

_ Fifteen years, eleven months, and five days, but who’s counting? Lord, why do I know that?  _ She shrugs casually. “About fifteen years?”

“Sounds about right,” he responds. 

She shifts her weight on her heels. An awkward silence is about to descend on the room when Leia walks in. 

“Rey!” she greets her as she walks over to give her a hug. “How’s everything at the ranch?” 

“Eh, a few cows escaped from the south field, but we found ‘em and got ‘em back in the pen. No harm, no foul,” Rey replies with a wave of her hand. 

What she’s not telling Leia is that the lock on the pen looked like it had been tampered with. Leia’s dealing with too much at the moment, she doesn’t need to know that there  _ might  _ (and this is a very small possibility) be a saboteur running around Skywalker Ranch. 

“Are Finn and Rose coming today?” 

“No.” Rey shakes her head. “They had to stay behind and milk cows. The south field needs a little love, and…”

Leia sighs. “I knew it. It’s too much work for Snap, Finn, and you. I told the old fool we need more help. We’re gonna be up the creek, now that he’s out of commission.”

“I ain’t dead,” Han mumbles, the sudden revelation that he's awake made everyone in the room jump. “And I ain’t hiring no one. We’ll be just fine.”

Rey purses her lips. On this she disagrees with her employer. Ranch life is a lot of work (along with the sky being blue). The three ranch hands, along with Han, are  _ barely _ keeping up with the workload. Now that Han's going to be laid up, it'll be near impossible. To add to all this, Rey has a few barrel racing competitions that will take her out of town in the coming weeks. She isn’t going to be the one to say it to Han, but an extra set of hands would go a  _ long _ way. She keeps her mouth shut right now. 

“Besides,” Han continues, “Ben’s here. He can stay for a little and lighten the load.” 

“No.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m only staying for a week.” 

Rey surveys Ben for a second. He  _ could  _ be useful around the ranch. He knows the work and won’t need to be taught, saving them valuable time. This seems the easiest solution to their collective problem. Except Ben doesn’t seem to be on board. 

However, Rey quickly remembers one thing about Ben Solo -- he never used to back down from a challenge. Rey wonders if this is still true. She decides to test this theory. 

“What’s the matter?” she prods. “Are you scared of a little hard work? Afraid you’re gonna get callouses on those pretty, manicured hands?” 

She holds her breath. This could go either way. Ben will either get angry and clam up or he’ll slam his hands down on Han’s hospital bed and yell, “Challenge accepted!” 

_ What’s it gonna be, Solo?  _

He stares at her for a second and works his jaw. “No, I’m staying for a week. That’s that. I’m going to get some coffee. Would you like some, mom?” 

Leia spouts out her coffee order and Ben turns on his heel, leaving with a huff.  _ Typical _ . She knows that once his mind is made up, that’s it. Only Ben can change Ben’s mind. She sighs and hope he has a change of heart. 

***

_ What a difference five days makes,  _ Rey thinks to herself as she’s pulling up to the main house in her truck, later that week. Han is coming home today. And Ben? Well, Ben’s staying for the foreseeable future. Rey nearly fell over when he told her his plans. 

Two days after his surgery, Han has his first physical therapy session. Ben is visibly affected by seeing how slowly Han is moving. Three days in bed would rob even a bodybuilder of their strength. 

Ben leaves the room right before the session ends and Rey follows him. She doesn’t know what sort of madness compels her to do so. He stops in front of a floor-to-ceiling glass window at the end of the hall and places his hands on the metal sill that comes up to his hips. 

“You okay?” Rey asks, coming to stand next to him. 

He only nods. 

They stand in awkward silence for a few seconds. Rey doesn’t know what she’s doing. They’re different people than they were fifteen years ago. They’re no longer…whatever they were back then. She subtly shakes her head at herself and moves to go back to the room. 

“You three can’t handle that big ranch all by yourselves,” he says, barely loud enough for her to hear. 

Rey scoffs. “No.” 

“Do you really need me?” 

“I’m not gonna tell you what to do Ben…” she begins. 

“Not asking you to.” He interrupts, shaking his head. 

Rey pauses. She doesn’t want him to resent her for dragging him back to the ranch. She knows how his relationship with his family and that ranch is tenuous at best. She closes her eyes and sighs. “Yes, we could.” 

He nods and huffs out a breath. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

“Thanks Ben.” 

He looks away and Rey wonders if he regrets his decision. 

That moment flashed through Rey’s mind as she pauses on the dirt road leading to the house. She remembers the flash of relief that washed over her when he agreed to stay. She also remembers that relief being mixed with something else she couldn’t pinpoint…anxiety, maybe? Rey tries to put it out of her mind, she can’t analyze all that right now, nor does she really want to. The only thing she should feel about Ben is gratitude. He’s here to help and that’s what matters. 

Leia’s old Crown Victoria is a little further up the dirt road from Rey’s truck. Han is finally home, a fact that makes her ridiculously happy. Her eyes fall upon the manor. Skywalker Ranch’s main house looks like a log cabin on steroids. The sprawling two-story home has a porch in the front, with wooden adirondack chairs for sipping tea, coffee, or whatever your pleasure was. Han and Leia are currently occupying the chairs. Leia offers Rey a wave from porch. 

A warmth blooms in her chest as she sees life has somewhat returned to normal. Han is still slow, and will need therapy, but he’s home. 

_ Home _ . That’s what she’s called the Skywalker Ranch for the past fourteen years. The day she met Ben in her high school home economics class was probably the best day of her life. She was hopeless at baking and he was equally hopeless at sewing. They hit it off despite the fact that everyone else seemed scared of Ben. Everyone told her he was a prickly asshole. He was never that way with Rey. They became fast friends. 

A smile creeps across Rey’s face, remembering those times, the dirt crunches underneath her boots as she walks toward the barn. It dawns on her that she hasn’t thought about this in a  _ long _ time. The first night Ben brought her over here for dinner, she hadn't wanted to leave. She had to stifle tears as Ben drove her back to her guardian’s trailer home stuffed with two other foster kids. 

Ben’s family ate dinner  _ together. _ They actually asked how his day went. Sure, Ben couldn’t have cared less that his parents were talking to him. To Rey, it was everything. 

She enters the barn and tries to take her mind off the trip down memory lane. As she walks inside, Rey hears a clanging noise and some swears coming from the tractor. 

She walks around and sees Ben fiddling with something. “What in the Sam heck are you doing?” Ben nearly bumps his head and Rey almost feels bad for startling him as she holds back a giggle. “Sorry.” 

“Han told me to tell you to change the oil on this thing,” he says with a grunt, “Told him I could do it.” 

Rey quirks an eyebrow. He’s doing it wrong and it’s going to take him twice as long to complete it when he realizes his mistake. Rey decides the best course of action, with Ben being a man and all, is to subtly suggest that he may not be doing this right. “Sure you don’t need any help?” 

He scowls at her. “I think I know how to change the oil on a tractor.” 

Rey throws up her hands in surrender. “Okay, just asking…it ain’t like riding a bike, you know.”

He swears again and cuts her off as he accidentally squirts some oil on his shirt. 

She scoffs and shakes her head. “It’s only a little grease. It’ll come off in the wash.” 

“This is a fifty dollar t-shirt,” he retorts, glaring at her. 

“And who told you it was a good idea to wear that while changing oil?” she asks, putting her hands on her hips. “You know better, Ben Solo.” 

The look that he gives her says that yes, he knows this was a terrible choice, but he’ll die before admitting it out loud.  _ Typical.  _ She plops down on a bale of hay, props her chin on her hands and waits for him to admit he doesn’t have a clue what he’s doing. 

A few minutes pass. Rey picks at her cuticles and messes with a few straws of hay. Ben keeps on grunting and swearing. After a few more moments of silence, Ben finally speaks. 

“Are you going to just sit there or come over here and be useful?” he asks, his tone curt and annoyed. 

Rey rolls her eyes. “Well, I was trying to be useful, but  _ someone _ insisted he didn’t need help.” 

Ben makes some typical, male gutteral noise in response to this. She takes a look at the engine and surrounding components. Just as she'd suspected. She fixes what Ben messed up in record time  _ and  _ changes the oil. 

“There,” she announces, climbing down from the tractor, wiping her hands on her jeans. 

Ben stands there, dumbfounded, and says nothing in response. 

“You’re welcome.” Rey tells him as she rolls her eyes and saunters out of the barn. 

She knows Ben regrets his decision to return home. She’s sure of it. Now, he’s probably going to take it out on all the other ranch hands. If this first hour is any indication of how the next few weeks will go, Rey is going to need Han to heal. Quick.

  
  



	3. Let It Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took so long to post this! Many thanks to SageMcMae and Taz for their help 💜💜
> 
> Also, this chapter deals with Rey’s past which includes abuse. I’ve included a summary at the end of the chapter. Please feel free to DM me on Twitter or Discord if you have any questions. 💜

“Paging Dr. Solo,” the voice of his mother snaps him out of his thoughts. 

“Hmm?” 

“Hand me some strawberries,” she says, annoyed. 

“Sorry,” he replies, complying with Leia’s request. 

His mother dragged him to the town’s Saturday Farmer’s Market with Rey. The only thing staving off boredom are his errant thoughts. 

It’s a small farmer’s market, meager compared to the ones he frequents in Park Slope back in New York, but there’s something different about it. People are  _ actually _ here to buy stuff. The Instagram influencers are conspicuously absent and in their place, people seem to be using their shopping trips as a chance to see their friends and buy produce for the week. There’s a genuine community feel about the scene. Ben didn’t know it until he showed up here, but in a way…... he'd missed it. 

Rey nudges him out of his thoughts. “Hey. Come meet my friends and help me pick out some corn.” 

His mother is now engrossed in a conversation with one of her church friends, so Ben happily accepts Rey’s invitation. 

“You sorry you came back?” Rey chuckles, nodding in Leia’s direction. 

“Only when a spunky ranch hand is fussing at me about changing oil,” Ben deadpans. 

“If you had just listened to me when I told you…,” she begins and a smile threatens to break across Ben’s face. “Was that a joke? Did the super serious Dr. Ben Solo actually crack a joke with me?” 

He smirks. “I do that sometimes.” 

Rey scoffs and smiles at him. “Could have fooled me. Also, did you just use the word  _ fussing  _ like a good Southern boy?” 

Ben hadn’t realized he’d used the word, but he supposed after a week and a half among the natives, it had seeped back into his vocabulary. “I suppose I did.” 

“Also, do my eyes deceive me or are you wearing the same cowboy boots you had in high school?”

Ben nods and Rey shakes her head in amusement. “I found them in my closet and my sneakers were still dirty from the other day, so I figured why the heck not?”

They walk in companionable silence toward a stand on the edge of the market. Rey stops and Ben laughs. Poe Dameron is running the booth Rey’s taking him to, along with an Asian woman and a black man. Poe Dameron, still in East Bumblefuck, Texas, will wonders never cease? 

At about the moment they stop, Poe looks up at the pair. 

“Rey! Good to see you and…Ben Solo? How in the hell are ya, man?” Poe calls jovially, his curly hair bouncing with his laugh,. “I heard you were back in town!” 

Poe Dameron was the quintessential high school god, back in the day. Ben’s also not surprised to see he hasn’t strayed far from his hometown. “Yeah, just here until my dad gets back on his feet.”

Rey smiles and gestures toward the other man, “This is Finn Abrams.” 

Ben shakes the man’s hand in greeting. 

“And this is Rose Tico,” Rey points toward the other woman in their company. 

Ben looks on in amusement as the four friends continue their chatter. He interjects occasionally when asked a question, but he’s mainly content to watch the whole happy scene. Then a voice breaks through the moment and ruins it all. 

“Rey Niima,” a gravely, gruff voice says. 

Before turning around to see the source of the voice, Ben’s eyes fall to Rey and her whole demeanor changes in a matter of seconds. Her eyes narrow, lips draw into a thin line, and her body is unflinchingly rigid. “Unkar. Didn’t know you were out.” 

Unkar Plutt. The man who'd been Rey guardian until she was eighteen. The man wasn’t fit to take care of a house plant, but the great state of Texas kept giving him foster children to live in his humble abode in the Almeida Trailer Park. Ben knew there was something going on when Rey was living there. He never pressed Rey on the extent of it, but he’d seen the bruises and scars back then and tried to get her out of Plutt’s trailer as much as possible. 

“Is that any way to greet the man who fed you and clothed you for thirteen years?” The obese man’s lips are drawn into a sinister smile. He gives his scraggly beard a scratch. 

“If you can call one processed meal a day, and ripped clothes from Goodwill, feeding and clothing someone, sure,” Rey replies flatly. 

Rose, Finn and Poe step between Rey and the man taunting her, and Ben follows suit. Finn speaks up. “Mister, if you’re not buying anything from here, you should be on your way.” 

“Aw, come on, just a friendly conversation between two people. No need to get hostile,” Unkar replies with a chuckle. 

Ben steps closer to Plutt, that long-forgotten protective instinct rising to the surface yet again. “You heard him. Rey clearly doesn’t want to have a  _ friendly conversation _ , so please be on your way.”

For the longest time, Ben had been told his sheer size was enough to be intimidating. He’d never believed it until this very moment as Plutt takes a step away from him, a glimmer of fear hiding behind his eyes. 

“I can take a hint,” Unkar says, stating the obvious. Before he goes, he smirks at her around Ben’s broad frame. “See you around, Rey.” 

At some point during the standoff, Leia made her way over the group. 

“Unkar,” she greets with thinly veiled disdain. “I hope you’re not violating any restraining orders by being here.” 

If Unkar was scared off by Ben’s sheer size, he’s even more intimidated by Leia’s presence. Ben chuckles to himself. His mother always has that effect on people. Plutt just huffs in annoyance and wanders off, leaving the group alone. Ben can see his mother’s eyes following him with laser focus until he’s out of sight. Once he’s gone, she turns her attention to Rey. 

“Are you okay?” Leia asks. 

Rey wordlessly nods. Leia buys a jar of honey from Finn and decides the three of them have had enough of the farmers market for one Saturday. After a silent ride in Rey’s old truck, they arrive back home. Ben figures he should maybe talk to her about what happened, but she takes off and throws herself into her work as soon as she pulls into the driveway. 

By five-thirty in the evening, Ben Solo is tired. He’s no stranger to exhaustion. The rigors of medical school and residency fully prepared him for his demanding life as a surgeon. However, those years in the confines of the hospital made his body forget the demands of physical labor, kind of weariness that only comes from a long day’s work on the ranch.  _ I’m getting too old for this sort of thing _ , he thinks as he trudges up the porch of the main house. 

“Tired, kid?” his father laughs at him as if Han can hear what’s rolling around in Ben’s head. 

Ben scoffs. “I was just becoming acutely aware of how much older I’ve gotten since I did chores around here.” 

“You and me both.” Han nods. 

Ben notices his father has been smoking a pipe. “Should you really be doing that? Didn’t your doctor tell you to lay off the tobacco?” 

“Bah.” Han waves him off. “Been smoking a pipe for years and I’ve been fine ‘til they started poking and prodding me.” 

“Stubborn old man.” Ben rolls his eyes. 

“Wiseass son of mine,” his father retorts. 

The screen door behind Ben squeaks open and Leia steps onto the porch. “Okay, if you two can stop bickerin’ for five seconds, come on in and wash up for dinner.” 

Ben follows inside. The mention of food piqued his stomach’s interest and Ben’s now acutely aware of exactly how hungry he is. The smell of the glazed ham from the oven hits him and his stomach rumbles. 

Rey’s already in the kitchen when Ben heads over to the sink to wash his hands. Although the danger is gone, Ben’s protective urges are still as strong as ever. It’s a strange thing. He hasn’t felt this way in so long, but the pull to protect her is just as strong as the day he accidentally saw the first bruise in Home Ec, all those years ago. 

This catches him off guard a bit… why does it matter so much to him that he protect  _ her _ ? Up until a week ago, he hadn’t thought about her in about fifteen years. Logically, she should be a non-factor. Yet here he is, all fired up like he is back in high school, trying to protect the pretty girl from his Home Ec class.  _ Stop. Just stop.  _

“Easy there, Solo, you’re just washing up for supper, not scrubbing in to save the mayor of New York City,” Rey chuckles, picking up a bowl of rolls to bring to the table. 

Ben offers a tepid chuckle at her joke. “Hey, Rey? Are you sure you’re okay… you know, earlier at the market?” 

“Don’t worry about it, Ben. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself,” she says in a self-assured tone and heads into the dining room. Ben doesn’t know if she’s trying to convince herself or him of this fact, but he has no choice but to take her at her word. He’s only been in Texas for a week and a half. He has no right to push the issue. 

During dinner, Leia asks Ben to do the monthly budget for the ranch, with much protesting from Han. The budget was always his job, but Leia is making the executive decision that, for the time being, it’s being delegated to Ben. It’s somewhat of an easy task for Ben. Officially, the department budget falls under Snoke’s perview, but being Snoke, Ben’s been doing the budget the whole time he’s been working there. 

Fortunately, Han keeps pretty thorough records (probably thanks to Leia’s nagging). After watching a few TV shows with his parents, he gets to work. It doesn’t take him long before he falls into a groove and finishes up. He’s putting the books back in his father’s office when he hears a scream coming from the guest house.

His chest sinks and tightens all at once.  _ Rey _ . He grabs Han’s shotgun that’s sitting next to his desk and runs out the back door. 

The guest house of Skywalker Ranch is about one hundred yards from the main house and Ben sprints every inch of those. He gets to the front and throws open the screen door. The whole house is pitch black and it takes a second for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. From what he can see, the modest living room is undisturbed—no signs of a break-in or anything being tossed around. 

“Rey?” he calls, poking his head into the kitchen. Silence. 

He heads down the short hallway that leads to the two bedrooms and a bathroom. He calls for her one more time. “Rey?” 

Silence again, but this time he hears soft sobs coming from the direction of a bedroom. The door to the bedroom in question is open a crack and Ben pushes it open even further. The room, like the rest of the house is dark, but Ben sees Rey’s silhouette leaning against the headboard. A floorboard creaks under Ben’s foot and she lets out a soft gasp in between sobs. 

“Ben?” 

“Yeah, it’s me,” he says, unsure of his next move, “Are… you okay?” 

“I just had a nightmare,” she says, turning her face toward him. 

“Do… you need me to make you some tea?” he asks quietly. Why does he still remember that is her cure-all? 

She wipes a tear from her face and nods. “Thank you.” 

He wanders back to the kitchen and sets the shotgun down on the table. He turns on the kitchen light and rummages in the cabinets for her tea. Her turquoise tea kettle is at the ready on a back burner. Minutes later, it whistles. 

He finds the most cheerful mug in her collection—all the while, wondering why he’s going through all this effort. By the time he’s brought Rey her tea, she’s turned on her bedside lamp. Ben’s reluctant to cross the threshold as he takes a look around her room. He’s unsure why he’s hesitating. Maybe seeing the few personal treasures she’s acquired displayed makes it too personal and it feels like he’s intruding. 

Rey was in his bedroom countless times when they were teenagers. She was also the star of some of his teenage fantasies. But they were no longer eighteen. They were a man and woman in the other’s bedroom at night. 

Rey scoffs at his hesitation. “You can come in, Ben…... it’s just my bedroom. I’m sure you’ve been in scores of them.” 

Ben wants to correct her and tell her he’s not the ladies man about Manhattan she thinks he is. Human connection has been difficult for him since leaving Texas. If he was being honest, the last person he truly made a connection with is sitting on her bed in nothing but a sleep shirt, desperately trying to appear stronger than she is. 

He studies her even more as he makes his feet move into her bedroom. It breaks his heart, seeing her small and in desperate need of a hug. Words fail him and he practically shoves the mug in her face. It seems like such a pitiful gesture, but it’s one she seems grateful for. 

“Thank you.” 

Ben nods in response. He feels like he should be doing something else to help her, but what? 

“You… had a nightmare?” Heaven help him, why is he  _ so _ bad at this? 

Rey takes a sip from her mug and nods. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He shifts awkwardly in his spot. 

Rey is looking straight ahead with a far-off look in her eyes.  _ Nice going, you awkward buffoon _ . He pulls his lips into a tight line and wonders if he should make himself scarce. He’s about to turn and leave. 

“I had nightmares after I first left Plutt’s.” Her voice roots him to the floor. “He found out I was going to leave and attacked me in the middle of the night. I left that night and kept having nightmares until he went away to prison.” 

“Insurance fraud, right?” 

Rey nods. “He was doctor shopping and selling the pain meds he got from them.”

His body moves on it’s own and Ben sits inches away from Rey on the bed. “I thought I was better, Ben. God help me, I really did. I’m so fucking weak.” 

Ben’s hand flies toward her smaller one and slips it in between where she’s gripping her knee. He thinks better of the gesture as soon as it happens, but she doesn’t flinch or make any sign she wants to pull away. That sets his mind at ease. “You’re stronger than you know.” 

She offers him a grateful smile and squeezes his hand. A heavy silence settles in the room. She sighs, not letting go of his hand, and takes another sip of her tea. “Distract me.” 

“How?” he asks in earnest. 

Rey purses her lips together in thought. “I dunno… tell me gross surgery stories or something.” 

Ben laughs and Rey leans back on her headboard. They’re still holding hands as Ben launches into a tale from his residency—a particularly nasty pedestrian versus taxi cab accident. She sips her tea as he follows up with two more stories. By the middle of the third one, her eyelids have become heavy, so Ben finishes up with the abridged version. 

Rey sighs, her body becoming weary with sleep. She slides down under her blankets. “Thanks for doing that.” 

“Anytime,” Ben says as he picks up the mug from her bedside table. He turns his back to the bed, but is stopped by her hand grabbing his wrist. 

“Could… could you just stay until I fall asleep?” Her tone says she hates asking this, but it’s what she needs. Her face is halfway to pleading. Ben could never deny her anything back in high school and he finds he still can’t.

He sets the mug down softly. “Sure.” 

He kicks his boots off and Rey makes room for him. The knowledge that Rey is only wearing an oversized shirt to bed pops into his brain. This is not what he needs to be thinking about at this moment. Not when he’s about to be inches from those bare legs. He feels slightly guilty thinking about all this, particularly when that’s not why she asked him to stay. 

He lays down on the bed, not daring to get under the sheets, and turns off her light. Rey makes herself comfortable as Ben stares straight up at her ceiling fan, not daring to move from his rod straight position. He hazards a glance at her sleeping form. 

  
_ I’ll just stay until she falls asleep _ becomes his mantra till his own eyelids flutter and sleep quickly overtakes him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey sees Plutt, who’s been released from jail, and begins to have nightmares again like she did after she first left his “care”. Rey tells Ben the nightmares started after Plutt attacked her while she was sleeping. Ben comforts her.


	4. Free Fallin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such an ungodly amount of time between updates. Please enjoy this chapter and I swear I'm trying to be better about updating all my fics. I appreciate y'alls patience! 
> 
> As always, thanks to [Sage McMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae) and [TazWren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazWren/pseuds/TazWren) for beta'ing this.

_I'm a bad boy 'cause I don't even miss her_   
_I'm a bad boy for breaking her heart_

_And I'm free_   
_Free fallin', fallin'_

_And I'm free_   
_Free fallin', fallin'_

**_\- "Free Fallin'", Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers_ **

****

When Rey’s eyes flutter open, the sun is just beginning to peek over the hills beyond the ranch. It takes a second for her to orient herself as the haze of sleep fades away. She’s suddenly aware of a warm sensation behind her. It’s definitely a human arm resting against her back, but whose…?  _ Ben.  _ The memory of her clutching his arm, and practically begging him to stay, floods her mind. Rey supposes she’s lucky he’s still nice to her. That’s how he’s always been. 

  


Right now, however, she can’t help but feel guilty that she let him see her at one of her lowest points. He hadn’t known about the nightmares. He  _ shouldn’t _ have known about the nightmares, but she couldn’t lie to him. She couldn’t put up a front with him. Not back then, not ever. 

  


Rey tries to remind herself that they’re different people now than when they were eighteen. Ben left her once and he plans on doing it again. At least, she’s prepared this time. For now, though, it’s nice to have the weight of her terrors lifted off her shoulders. She’s not alone in bearing her burden. Not in this moment. 

  


She turns to face him slowly, not wanting to wake him. A smile creeps across her face as she studies his sleeping form. His face doesn’t look burdened with care and worry, and he almost looks like he’s still eighteen. Her eyes involuntarily trace lines between the moles on his face. 

  


_ You’re still a handsome bastard, Ben Solo, _ her sleepy brain blurts out. For a moment, she contemplates slipping closer to him and curling her body around his. It’s a soothing thought that causes butterflies to flutter in Rey’s stomach. She almost gives in. Her hand is in the air and about to slip around Ben’s torso when she thinks better of it. 

  


No, there’s no way. Rey knows where an action like that could lead. She’s still a bit vulnerable. The minefield that awaits her if she opens up  _ that _ door with Ben only leads to pain. Her hand returns to her side and she decides it’s time to get out of bed. There’s no time for this. There’s a lot of work to do on the farm today. Her brain also picks this very moment to remind her that she has a barrel racing show that weekend that she needs to train for. 

  


She dresses quickly and the cool morning air makes her shiver as she bounds down the porch stairs and toward the barn. 

  


Rey’s horse greets her like an old friend, whinnying and neighing when she comes into view. It makes her smile as she sets about preparing him for their training session. Her fingers run over the cracked leather of the saddle and she pauses her preparations for a moment. She can’t understand why, but she thinks of the nicer saddles she sees at the competitions she participates in. With a sigh, Rey thinks it would be nice if she could afford a better one. She makes a mental note to add that to the list of things she wants to save up for. 

  


As if the horse can sense her mood, he nuzzles her hand and she pats his black mane, takes his reins and leads him toward the pen. She mounts the horse and begins with a brisk trot, just to get back in the swing of things. 

  


It was no secret that when Rey came to live with the Solos, after being with Plutt for so long, she had been pretty messed up. Her nightmares had been a nightly guest, with anxiety being a constant companion. Six weeks after coming to live with the Solos, she had wandered out and found Leia riding horses. Rey had been enthralled and had begged Leia to teach her how to ride. 

  


From the moment she had mounted a horse for the first time, it had soothed her. When she rode, nothing else in the world existed. She was free. She was happy. Rey had assumed that feeling would fade, over time, and that it wouldn’t be enough. That had proven to be a false assumption. 

  


As the horse picks up speed, a smile breaks across her face. It’s like this every time and Rey never wants it to stop. 

  


The horse is warmed up enough and so is Rey. It’s time. She guides the horse toward the weather-worn barrels in the middle of the pen. The majestic animal acts on instinct and muscle memory and they complete their turns without incident. It’s been a few days since Rey has done this, but the movements feel as smooth and natural as breathing. 

  


She loses track of time, but that always happens when she hits her stride. Rey considers it a win that she doesn’t know if five minutes or five hours have passed. All she knows is that it’s gotten warmer and the sun is higher in the sky. Her stomach begins growling. Her head tells her she should probably stop and get breakfast before tending to the business of the ranch, but her heart wins out and she makes one more round. 

  


A whistling noise breaks her concentration and she turns toward the source of the noise, expecting to see Snap or Leia, but it’s Ben. He’s leaning up against the fence and waving at her, holding a blue coffee mug in his hand. His expression is soft, his lips curled in a smirk. There’s something behind his expression that she can’t quite put her finger on as she commands the horse to trot over to him. Rey doesn’t know if he’s still sleepy, if it’s just a trick of the morning light, or if he’s  _ actually _ looking at her with a mixture of adoration and wonder on his face. 

  


It unnerves her and she can’t decide if she wants him to keep looking at her like that or stop. She shakes her head and begs her brain to stop going down that trail. 

  


“Morning,” he says, after taking a sip of his coffee. 

  


“Morning,” she responds. 

  


“Are you doing okay?” he asks tentatively. 

  


A twinge of embarrassment spreads across her body. Intellectually, Rey knows that Ben comforting her last night isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Then, there’s the part of her brain that knows she worked so hard to suppress the nightmares and the fact that they’re coming back is a source of shame for her. 

  


She looks down at the ground. “Yeah. Fine.” 

  


Rey can feel his gaze on her. “If you need…” 

  


“I said, I’m fine, Ben,” she says, a little too harshly. She sees him recoil at bit and it makes her sigh. “I’m sorry. I swear, I’m okay.” 

  


He nods in understanding. “I’ll drop it, then.” 

  


Her chest relaxes at his words. 

  


“You’re really good at this stuff,” he says, waving a finger in the general direction of the barrels. 

  


She dismounts the horse and chuckles. “Yeah, it kinda started as a hobby, but your mom gently suggested I should enter some local competitions and it just kinda grew from there.” 

  


Ben’s chest shakes in silent laughter. “Her gentle suggestions are about as subtle as the Cowboy’s obnoxious stadium.” 

  


Rey laughs. “You could say that. I’m actually headed out of town this weekend for the county fair competition.” 

  


She tries to ignore the slight pang of disappointment on Ben’s face when she says that. He just nods and walks beside her, sipping his coffee, as she leads the horse out of the barn and back into the stables. 

  


“I’d forgotten how quiet it is out here,” he says to no one in particular, after a few moments of silence.

  


“And that’s a bad thing?” Rey asks, with an amused expression on her face. 

  


Ben scoffs. “No, it’s not. I like it. Trying to think and not hearing cabs honking or whatever is a great thing.” 

  


“What’s this? The city boy extolling the virtues of country living?” 

  


Ben raises an eyebrow. “Don’t get used to it.” 

  


Their shared laughter reaches the rafters of the barn, drawing a few curious glances from the horses. Rey puts her horse back in his stall and gives him a few extra oats for all his hard work. Rey and Ben grab breakfast and set about the work of the ranch. They don’t speak much for the rest of the day. After dinner, Rey is exhausted and excuses herself to return to the guest house. 

  


She’s in the middle of a show on Netflix when she can feel her eyelids getting heavy. Her day will start at four AM the next day, and she should probably get to bed, but that’s not what causes her to finally jump off the couch. She hears the sound of retreating footsteps coming from her porch, with an accompanying shadow. Rey grabs the closest heavy object she can find (which happens to be a cast iron skillet) and heads toward the front door. After pulling back the curtain that covers the window of her front door, she sees she’s all alone once again. 

  


With this in mind, she opens the front door and chances a look around. Still all clear. By pure happenstance, she looks down and sees a walkie-talkie on the porch, in front of her door. Confused, she picks it up and sees a note taped to the radio. 

  


_ In case you’re not fine. - Ben _

  


She fights the lump in her throat and brings the walkie talkie inside. It’s really not a big deal and she’s  _ fine _ . Rey will later admit, however, that she was was moved by Ben’s concern for her. She shuts the porch light off, makes her final preparations for bed and quickly falls asleep. 

  


Her peace is short-lived. 

  


An hour later, Rey is sitting straight up in bed with ragged breath. Her body has broken out in a cold sweat, the last tendrils of her nightmare still clinging to the corners of her consciousness. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the radio. The last shreds of her pride are begging her not to pick up the walkie talkie and call Ben, but the promise of his comfort calls to her. She picks up the device. 

  


She hesitates before pressing the button to call him, her thumb hovering over the button. She swallows the lump in her throat along with her pride. “Ben?” 

  


It’s silent, save for a few crickets and owls singing their nightly tunes. The silence kills Rey. She shouldn’t have done this. She should have just cried herself to sleep like she always did. The tears threaten to come, but she swallows them. 

  


“Rey?” A familiar groggy voice on the other end asks. “Did you call me?” 

  


It would be easy to lie, to say no. Say he was just dreaming and tell him to go back to bed. However, she can’t. She can’t lie to Ben. 

  


“Yeah.” 

  


“I’ll be right over.” 

  


With no room for arguing or protesting, Rey puts the walkie down on her nightstand. Ben arrives minutes later. They wordlessly assume the same position as the night before and her sleep is just as peaceful. 

***

  


The next morning, Rey’s alarm jolts them both out of bed at four am. They both seem to groan and swing their legs out of bed at the same time. Normally, ranch life doesn’t start this early, but today’s the day for working cows. No rancher sees this day approaching on the calendar and pumps their fist in excitement. Separating the cows, and calves, making sure they’re vaccinated properly, and the female cows are not pregnant is quite the job...hence the early hour. Ben thinks he’d rather endure Dr. Snoke’s brand of training than work cows again. 

  


Fortunately, they’ll have help. Rose and Poe are coming in to help along with a few neighbors. Rey says they like offering the help and she assured Ben a few days ago that the technology had improved in the last fifteen years and it’s a more efficient process than he remembers. He still thinks he’d rather be back in New York, performing a heart transplant followed by an LVAD placement. 

  


He checks his phone. Dr. Hux is also coming to Texas today. Snoke’s one condition for Ben being gone so long was that he had to agree to help Hux with a presentation he was giving this weekend in San Antonio. Hearing Hux whine about nature would be a small price to pay for being able to keep an eye on his dad for a little while longer. That was why he was still here, right? 

  


They grab breakfast at the main house before heading to the south field, where the cattle call home. Surprisingly, separating the cattle out proves easier than Ben remembers. 

  


No matter how hard he tries, he can’t keep his eyes off Rey while he works. When he’s not looking at her, she somehow creeps into his thoughts. He knows he needs to stop. He’s probably feeling this way only because he’s spent the last two nights in close proximity.

  


The more his thoughts stray, the more he tries to apply logic to the situation. Being in an intimate situation with anyone would cause these feelings to creep in. That was his ultimate conclusion. He’s going back to New York soon enough. Soon, the bed sharing will stop. This nagging pull toward Rey will fade to a memory and all will return to how it was before this disruption. 

  


But why does the thought of his time ending make him sad?

  


In between the glances, Ben catches a glimpse of Han driving his truck up the road toward the pen. Ben assumes Han is just bringing up the water cooler but, when Dr. Hux steps out, Ben knows that’s not the entire purpose of his visit. Hux turns to survey his surroundings, all the while he has a look on his face like he's just swallowed something sour. Ben chuckles to himself, pulls off his work gloves, and goes over to greet him. 

  


“You grew up here?” Hux’s nose wrinkles before Ben can get a word out. “Also, I’ve just spent five minutes in the car with your father. I understand you now.” 

  


Han smirks and shakes his head and Ben returns the gesture. 

  


“How was the flight, Armitage?” 

  


“Awful! The brat behind me would not stop kicking my seat…” 

  


As Hux launches into a diatribe about his travels, Han whistles and lets everyone know he’s brought water and it’s time for a break. Ben walks over to the water cooler, only half listening to him. Rey has come over to grab water. Ben grabs one of the mason jars and fills it up for her. Their fingers brush as the glass passes between them. Neither of them notice that Hux has stopped talking and Ben ignores the fact that he felt a literal spark when they touched. 

  


“Thanks,” she says, casting her eyes to the ground and he swears he can see a blush creep across her face. Ben wonders if she felt it too. Then he remembers he shouldn’t be thinking about stuff like that and it’s probably just the Texas sun that’s making her cheeks red. 

  


“You’re welcome.” 

  


A knowing smirk spreads across Hux’s face.

  


_ Shit. Deflect.  _

  


“What?” Ben asks, annoyed with his colleague. He begins to pour his own water. “Rey’s just an old friend.” 

  


“Yes. Mhmm. Sure,” Hux replies dubiously. 

  


Ben rolls his eyes and takes a sip of water. Rose and Finn make their way over to the tailgate to grab their own drinks. They nod at Ben. 

  


“Finn, Rose…this is my colleague from New York, Armitage Hux. Armitage, this is Finn Abrams and Rose Tico.” 

  


It doesn’t escape Ben’s notice that the moment Hux lays eyes on Rose, his demeanor changes. He smiles. He  _ actually _ smiles and extends his hand to her in greeting. 

  


“Armitage Hux.” 

  


Rose smiles at him and shakes his hand. “We do have to get back to work, but it was nice to meet you.” 

  


Hux nods. “Of course. I hope to see you again.” 

  


Ben works his jaw and smirks as Hux watches Rose walk away.  _ Well, this is an unexpected turn of events.  _ He finally can’t suppress his laughter anymore. 

  


“What?” 

  


“You were saying?” Ben asks with a quirked eyebrow. 

  


He waves Ben off. “Shut up.” 

  


Ben rides back to the main house with the two other men. Ben attempts to focus on helping Hux with his presentation, but his thoughts keep wandering back to Rey. It’s frustrating, yet he never wants it to stop. 

  


After they finish their work, Hux heads back to his hotel and Ben takes a walk to clear his head. Somehow he winds up in what’s basically a pared-down version of their barn. It’s mainly used as a storage area.

  


He enters and looks around, surveying the dusty relics. Something catches his eye in a far corner. He gets closer and runs his fingers over the long-forgotten object and is struck with an idea. He pulls his grandfather’s saddle off the shelf and heads to the barn to restore it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [My Twitter](https://twitter.com/em_is_writing)


	5. Who Says You Can't Go Home?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Strolls in nine months late with some coffee* Oh hey guys, didn't see you there! Welcome back and thank you for hanging in there and having patience with my slow-to-update behind. I hope you enjoy this latest update and hopefully updates will be coming in faster as I'm attempting to finish my WIPs for Camp NaNo in July. Also, I messed up last chapter and stuck Ben's POV in what was supposed to be a Rey POV chapter. I've remedied this by giving Rey a little extra time in this chapter and will be back on track for the net update. 
> 
> As always, thank you to the incomparable [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/pseuds/SageMcMae) and [TazWren](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazWren/pseuds/TazWren) for being such lovely beta readers!

_I spent twenty years trying to get out of this place_   
_I was looking for something I couldn't replace_   
_I was running away from the only thing I've ever known_   
_Like a blind dog without a bone_   
_I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone_   
_I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold_

_I been there, done that_   
_But I ain't looking back on the seeds I've sown_   
_Saving dimes, spending too much time on the telephone_   
_Who says you can't go home?_

**_-Who Says You Can't Go Home?_ **

**_Bon Jovi_ **

The sun begins to fade behind the mountains as Rey drives the golf cart back toward her house. A long day on the ranch is done and Rey craves a hot bath. It’s all she’s been able to think about since after their lunch break. She tosses her baseball cap aside as she walks up the steps of the house. Pausing for a moment, she casts a glance at the main house. Han is working with his physical therapist, walking up and down the steps. He’s doing well, but he’s clearly complaining the whole time. 

_Typical_ , she muses with a slight chuckle as she unties her hair. 

Delaying her shower won’t hurt anything, she thinks as she rests her arms on the porch rail, watching Han repeat his exercises. The early days in the hospital—the worry, dealing with the unknown—now seem like a distant memory. Rey had almost asked Ben once if they were in any danger of losing Han. Before she asked, she had stopped herself, deciding she didn’t need to know. That had been a few weeks ago, and she still feels the same way today. She still doesn’t need to know. 

Someone up above seems to be looking out for Rey because her fatalistic thoughts are interrupted by the only thing on this earth that can distract her from them. Ben steps out on the porch. Despite the distance, she can tell he’s freshly-showered, with his hair slicked back and wet. He’s also shirtless, holding a crumpled white t-shirt in his hand. 

The immediate reaction her body has to the sight shocks her—her breathing speeds up, she bites her lip, her mouth goes dry—it’s _ridiculous_ really. She needs to look away because that way lies pain, but she can’t. 

No matter how hard she’s been trying, Rey can’t seem to shake the remnants of this ridiculous teen crush she seems to be holding on to. Ben would be leaving soon, back to his life in New York. Whatever hope that Rey holds on to that he might stay needs to die...yesterday. He has a life, far away from here, one that doesn’t include her. Despite all the reasons why, she can’t stop looking or hoping and wishing. 

He must have thought he’d be alone while stepping outside. After Han’s physical therapist waves at him, he stops short just before the first porch step and quickly throws his t-shirt on. It was only a short glance at his chest and muscles, but it was just enough to set the image in Rey’s brain. It also ended too quickly, leaving her wanting more. 

_Okay, that's quite enough for today. Get a hold of yourself,_ she thinks as she turns around and moves to head inside. The sound of a woman’s laughter halts her seconds later. Rey spins around so fast, it nearly makes her dizzy. What she finds when she turns around makes even dizzier. Han’s physical therapist has her hand on Ben’s shoulder. Her eyes narrow as she realizes what’s happening. The language of flirting is a universal one. So is jealousy and Rey can definitely feel it oozing from her pores. 

Before she does anything she would ultimately regret, she clamps her lips tighter and turns to head in the house. 

“Rey! Rey!” she hears from behind her. 

***

Jessika’s laughing, but Ben doesn’t hear a single word. Of course, his father’s physical therapist would be the girl voted “Most Likely to Die Talking” in high school. His head keeps gravitating in _her_ direction as if he has a radar that can pinpoint exactly where she is. It’s only because he needs to tell her something. That’s his excuse this time. God, he wishes he could stop it. 

The gentle touch of Jessika’s hand on his shoulder shocks him back to his conversation. _Oh god, now she’s flirting. Is Rey watching? Why does he care if she’s watching?_ These thoughts blaze through his mind rapid-fire as Jessika prattles on about the restaurant she ate at last night. He’s being rude and he knows it, but he just continues to smile and nod. 

Finally, either Jessika has taken the hint or her session with his dad is up, but she looks at her watch, “Okay, well, it was nice chatting with you!” 

“Same, Jessika,” Ben nods. 

She saunters off and Ben turns toward the guest house, hoping Rey hasn’t slipped inside while he was talking with Jessika. Thankfully, she hasn’t. 

“Rey!” he calls, breaking into a run. She doesn’t turn. “Rey!”

The second time calling her name, she turns toward him. 

He’s still a bit far from the house, so she waves and shouts “Oh hey!” 

Ben gets closer and he can finally appreciate the nuances of her facial expression. Rey’s smiling, but it’s the kind of smile she plasters on her face when she’s trying to fake being happy. He hates that smile. 

He wonders if he should just hold off on showing Rey the surprise he has for her and just pretend he’s interested in hearing how the rest of the day went. 

“Did the cows behave for y’all?” he blurts out. _Chicken shit_ , he calls himself. 

“About as well as cows can behave when they’re being poked and prodded,” she laughs. That damn smile is still there as silence falls between them. Her face falls for just a second. “Was there something that you needed, Ben?” 

_Now or never._ “Actually, I have something for you…”

Her face wrinkles in confusion and her head tilts ever so slightly. “Oh?” 

He almost gets lost in how adorable she looks in that moment. _Keep it together, Solo_. “Yeah, come with me.” 

She hesitates. “I..should really shower.” 

“Please,” he says softly, and it’s needier than he originally intended. God, he hasn’t been this nervous since the first time he stepped into an operating room to perform surgery. “This will only take a second.” 

Their eyes lock together for a second and she nods, following him toward the storage barn. 

He turns before opening the door and she’s giving him a look. “Ben, what are we doing here?” 

“Just wait,” he says before turning around and pushing open the door. 

A gasp comes from behind him as the open door reveals Ben’s makeshift workspace with his grandfather’s saddle smack dab in the middle. Rey looks mesmerized by the antique, her mouth parted in an “O” and a slight smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. _Success._

“Ben, it’s..is this your grandfather’s?” 

He nods. 

“But...why?” she asks in a hushed tone as her fingers lightly brush the leather. She’s hesitant to touch it, like any amount of pressure will cause the saddle to crack and break. 

“It’s practically brand new. I fixed it up myself,” he says. 

Rey’s head snaps in his direction, looking at him in awe of what he’s accomplished. “That’s amazing, but...again... _why_?” 

Ben can feel a smile forming on his face as he shrugs. “You said you needed a saddle.” 

Rey’s eyes widen like saucers. “No, Ben, I can’t...this saddle belongs in the Skywalker family and I’m not a Skywalker.” 

He steps closer toward her. “Well, I _am_ a Skywalker and I’m gifting this saddle to you.” 

She swallows thickly as she puts her hand more fully on the saddle. It’s torture for those few seconds as she just looks at it, not saying a word. Ben desperately wishes she would say something, give him some clue as to just what the hell she’s thinking. Those long few seconds stretch as she gazes at the saddle with awe, looking like she’s on the verge of tears. 

And then, there it is—the genuine smile, the one she’s worn only a few times. It suddenly occurs to Ben at that moment that she’s _only_ worn that smile around him. What that means, Ben can’t say right now. His brain also decides this is the perfect moment to remind him that he’ll be leaving soon. He can’t think about what that means, it isn’t fair to her. 

Shoving his errant thoughts down, he refocuses on Rey. She peers up at him through her eyelashes. 

“You’re...you’re really giving this to me?” 

Ben nods. 

“But, what about Han and Leia?” 

He shrugs. “They didn’t even know it was here. Between you and me, I don’t think my mom is too sentimentally attached to any of Old Man Ani’s stuff.” 

Rey hums in understanding. 

“The Fabergé egg on the mantle from Grampie Bail though…” 

Rey chuckles. “She loves that thing.” She sighs, looking down at the saddle and looks back up at him again. “Seriously, thank you.” 

Ben feels a warm smile breaking out on his face. “You’re welcome.” 

Rey opens her mouth to say something but decides against it. She steps forward and surprises Ben with a hug. At first, his arms don’t know what to do, they just awkwardly hover around her. _When was the last time he hugged someone?_ Lord, he can’t remember, but as Rey burrows her head in his chest, all he can say is that this feels _good_. 

Ben’s arms float down around her and pull her closer, even though barely any space exists between them. This moment passes in silence, only the sounds of the birds and animals can be heard around them. It’s nice. It’s peaceful. 

Rey lifts her head off his chest and gazes up at him. Her breathing has sped up and she bites her lip. They hold each other’s gaze for a few seconds, suddenly he’s aware that she’s looking at his lips. 

_Oh._

Does he want this? His brain is screaming _absolutely not_ , but his body and heart—currently inching perilously close toward Rey’s lips—tell him _yes,_ any fall out be damned. An ATV in the distances turns on, the harsh noise breaking the spell they seem to have fallen under. 

Rey’s eyes cast down to the ground as she releases her hold on Ben. The loss of contact causes Ben’s heart to fall. Again, he doesn’t want to think about why he’s having such a reaction. 

“I should go shower before dinner,” she says, not able to look him in the eye, “I also have to pack.” 

Ben had forgotten Rey would be gone for a few days, the realization causing his heart to sink further. 

“Okay,” he replies simply. 

It’s for the best that she’s walking away. It’s for the best that she’ll be away from the ranch for a few days. He can throw himself into the business of the ranch and forget about...whatever this thing is with her. That’s what’s for the best, right?

***

“Ben!” Finn calls to Ben as he hammers a fence post in the west field. 

It was two days after whatever had happened in the storage barn between him and Rey. He’s been putting in twelve-hour days on the ranch to put it out of his mind. It’s not working. Even now, as the midday spring Texas sun beats down on him, all he can think of is the missed opportunity. That’s when he works the hardest to shut his thoughts down, focus on the task at hand. 

_New York,_ he keeps reminding himself. _He’s going back to New York._ Rey deserves and needs more than what he can offer her. She needs someone who can stay and love her the way she deserves. He just wishes his chest didn’t ache when he allows himself to dream he could be the one that gives her that. 

He shakes his head, this line of thought will do him no good. Finn has just put the ATV in park and is walking toward him with a look that says he has some important news to give Ben. Giving the man his full attention, he tosses the mallet to the ground and turns toward him. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” 

“Someone messed with Breego’s stall last night.” 

Ben freezes. Rey had told him about the sabotage that had been occurring before he arrived. Up until this point, it had been picked locks, broken chains, but this...this was personal. Rey loved Breego—her horse—possibly more than anything in this world. Even in the three weeks Ben had been here, that was evident. It was very fortunate for whoever had broken into the barn that Rey had taken Breego to the barrel riding competition. If any harm had come to Breego, well, Ben wouldn’t stand in Rey’s way while she exacted her revenge. 

“What happened?” 

“They kicked a few boards out and loosened the screws on the latch.” 

“Fuck,” Ben huffs out a breath. “Did you tell Rey?” 

“No.” Finn shakes his head. “Didn’t wanna mess with her head before the competition.” 

“Good.” Ben nods. “That’s good. I’m almost done here, so I can fix stuff before she gets home in two days.” 

Finn nods. “Can I give you a hand?” 

“That’d be awesome,” Ben responds gratefully. 

The two men head over to the pick-up truck Ben had driven to the field and pull a huge plank of wood out. They make quick work of installing the post into the earth. Finn steps back and admires their work. 

“We should probably install some barbed wire along the entrance from Old Town Road,” Ben says aloud, to no one in particular. 

“Might be a good idea,” Finn agrees. 

Ben looks at his watch and scoffs, “But that sounds like a tomorrow problem.” 

Finn laughs. “You’re getting pretty good at this.” 

Ben’s head swivels toward the other man, “Good at what?” 

“This whole managing the ranch thing,” Finn replies casually. 

Ben smirks, “Don’t get used to it.” 

Finn shrugs and wipes his hands on his jeans. “Damnit, I was just getting used to having you around here.” Ben lets out a throaty chuckle as Finn walks away to put tools on the truck bed. “Rey was too.” 

It’s an offhand comment, but it stops Ben in his tracks. He almost wants to ask Finn what else Rey had said about him, but he quickly realizes just how high school that sounds. He’s a grown adult with a medical degree, after all. It’s almost become second nature at this point, but he pushes his errant thoughts away. Maybe he’ll deal with them later. Maybe. 

After dinner and a shower, the crickets were singing their nightly song, beckoning Ben to sit outside and listen. Ben steps out on the back porch, taking a drag of the floral notes on the spring breeze. 

“Care for a drink, kid?” his father’s voice comes from the other side of the porch, the signature Solo smirk on his face as he holds up a bottle of amber liquor. 

Ben shrugs. “Why not?” 

Han pours his son some whiskey and hands him the glass. “Here ya go, kid.” 

Ben sits down in the Adirondack chair next to his dad with a groan. “Thanks.” 

“Long day?”

Ben nods and takes a sip. “You could say that.” 

Father and son listen to the crickets sing for a few minutes. “Bet you don’t get this view in the city, huh?” 

Ben laughs. “Can’t say that I do.” 

Han studies his son. “It’s been good having you around here.”

“You’re the second person to tell me that,” he replies, lifting the glass to his lips. 

“Then it must be true,” Han lifts his glass toward Ben. “I do mean it, though. No matter what’s happened between us in the past, I’ve missed having you around here.” 

“You mean it?” 

The words come out more child-like than he intends, but oddly, that’s how he feels…just a child, seeking approval from his father. 

“Of course,” Han says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “you’re my son.” 

Ben rolls his jaw, letting his father’s words marinate and sink in. How many hours had he spent thinking the exact opposite? All the harsh words exchanged, the constant cold shoulder over the years, and Han still welcomed his prodigal son home with open arms. Ben sucked in a breath and took another sip of his drink. 

“I’m glad I’m here too, dad.” 

And he meant it. 

They finish their drinks in silence, letting the crickets serenade them once more. Ben stands up to go inside, his eyes automatically flitting over toward the guest house. 

“Son,” Han calls to him.

“Yeah?” Ben whips his body around as if his father can read his thoughts. 

“Don’t let her get away,” Han says softly. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Han makes a face. “I may be old, but I ain’t blind, kid.” 

Ben looks back over toward the guest house. He shouldn’t be surprised, his father was no fool. Han could see what Ben couldn’t even bring himself to admit. He couldn’t deny it now. He was in love with Rey. 

“I can’t,” Ben sighs. 

“Why not?”

“I can’t leave New York” 

“Says who?” 

Ben is taken aback. Was it that simple? Could he really just up and leave New York and come back home? _Home_ . He’d just referred to this place as _home_. Maybe it was that simple and he could come back. 

Either way, his dad had kicked the door open for the possibility of a whole new life, one in Texas and with Rey by his side. 

He silently heads back in the house, but before he does, he turns toward Han. 

“Dad…” he can't get the words out, but they’re sitting on the tip of his tongue, begging to come out, but it proves unnecessary. 

Han smirks. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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**Author's Note:**

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> 
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